Faith & Finding Purpose in Pain

Your fortnightly 1-2-3: Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

““I’m going through something that’s shaken me. It’s hard, painful, and I’m struggling to see how anything good could come out of it. I want to trust God, but right now I just feel overwhelmed.””

Talking Point 

Life has a way of wounding us. Whether it’s heartbreak, disappointment, loss or a personal crisis—pain often arrives unexpectedly and leaves us feeling vulnerable, uncertain, and disoriented.

But what if, like the oyster that forms a pearl in response to an irritant, we too have the capacity to respond to pain in a way that produces something of value?

When a sharp fragment enters the oyster’s shell, it protects itself by releasing nacre—a healing substance that transforms the threat into something beautiful. Over time, that irritant becomes a pearl. Not every oyster does this—some never respond, and the damage wears away the living part inside, leaving an empty shell.

We’re not so different. When pain enters our lives, we face a choice: to be eroded by it, or to respond with grace, wisdom, and—crucially—with help.

Psychologists talk about Post-Traumatic Growth, a concept describing how some people grow in strength, insight, or character after adversity- not just despite the adversity, but because of it. As Christians, we see a similar invitation in Scripture: “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3–4). God doesn't bring pain to grow us – that is not in His character. But our faith can help give this worldly pain purpose.

It’s important to say this: sometimes pain cuts deep, and processing trauma may need the support of a qualified therapist or counsellor. That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re wise. Healing is not something we do alone—and it doesn’t mean rushing to find silver linings, either. But it does mean being open to the possibility that beauty can still emerge from painful places.

Truth to Ponder 

Hold on to the One that is Unchanging.

The Bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He is the beginning and the end—and every season of instability or loss is best navigated with Jesus at the centre.

If you’re struggling with a life transition—if you can’t seem to find your footing—then grip on to Him. Jesus is your anchor (Hebrews 6:19). He will steady you, guide your steps, and lead you from this present season into the next, one filled with hope, healing and purpose.

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‘Worship Anyway’

Faith & Self-Acceptance

Your fortnightly 1-2-3: Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“People always tell me to just be myself—but what if parts of ‘myself’ aren’t healthy or helpful? What if who I am right now isn’t who I want to stay?”

Talking Point 

We’ve all seen the slogans: “Be yourself,” “You do you,” “Everyone else is taken.” The idea is empowering on the surface—embrace who you are, don’t pretend, live authentically. And yes, there’s something good in that.

But the phrase “just be yourself” can sometimes do more harm than good—especially when it becomes an excuse to stop growing. What if “yourself” is impatient, defensive, entitled or harsh with words under pressure? What if the current version of you is insecure, reactive, or just stuck? Is it still good advice to stay exactly the way you are?

Even Jesus, though perfect and without sin, grew in wisdom, in stature, and in favour with God and people (Luke 2:52). If growth was part of His journey, how much more must it be part of ours?

Being “yourself” isn’t a full stop. It’s a comma. Be yourself, yes—but then keep going. Be the best version of yourself. Grow in grace. Identify areas where maturity is needed. Recognise habits and attitudes that need to change. Embrace who you are, but also who you’re becoming.

Authenticity is not the end goal - transformation is.

Truth to Ponder 

Embracing who you are is not the same as embracing who you can become.

True self-love isn’t permission to stay unchanged—it’s the motivation to grow. And as believers, we don’t walk that growth journey alone. The Holy Spirit works in us to shape us, refine us, and help us reflect more of Christ over time.

So yes, be honest about who you are—but don’t settle. Let God continue the good work He began in you (Philippians 1:6). Be yourself—but let Him lead you to become more.

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Faith & Boundaries

Faith & Instability

Your fortnightly 1-2-3: Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I love meeting up with friends and family over Christmas, but everyone else seems to have it all together. My life, by comparison, feels like such a mess. Where am I going wrong, and where is God in it all?”

Talking Point 

The Christmas story starts in the most unlikely of places: a dirty stable. Can you imagine the confusion and disappointment that Mary and Joseph would have felt? How could God ask them to give birth to the Messiah, and not provide a place to stay?

Jesus was not born in comfort and control, but in the midst of instability and vulnerability. This is how God chose to enter the world, and how He continues to show up.

If we are honest, most of us look at those whose lives are tidy, peaceful and predictable and assume they have cracked the faith-code. Their prayers must be the ones being listened to. And we look around at our own mess and mistakes and wonder where we have gone so wrong. Finding God in these moment feels hard. It’s easier to see him in the blessing; harder when things feel missing.

Mary and Joseph were exhausted travellers. Their plans had been interrupted more than once. Nothing in their situation felt secure, and the arrival of Jesus didn’t change anything – they still ended up fleeing for their lives. Can you relate to any of those feelings?!

And yet this story is the first chapter of the ultimate story of Hope.

Truth to Ponder 

So what can the Stable teach us about navigating instability?

1. God meets people in their ordinary, messy reality. Take heart. Healing often begins in places that feel unglamorous, chaotic, or unfinished. You don’t have to “get your life together” to be on the path towards hope. Restoration grows in the midst of imperfection.
    

2. Vulnerability is not a liability. Even Jesus, despite being God, started his journey as a baby utterly dependant on those around him, and remained reliant upon others throughout his ministry. Allowing ourselves to be supported – by God, community or professionals – can be a pathway to resilience.
    

3. Love enters the world quietly, not through force. God’s redemption plan wasn’t a political take over, as many hoped. It was a quiet revolution that started with an infant nursed and nurtured by a loving mother. Softness, compassion and patience can be more healing than striving for quick fixes. Don’t be discouraged by the small gentle transformations that will eventually change everything.

So if your life feels unstable this season—if circumstances feel shaky or uncertain—take heart.
The Christmas story is not about avoiding instability, but discovering Who is with us in it.

Just as Christ was cradled in a simple manger, may His presence rest in the unsteady places of your life, bringing peace that doesn’t depend on perfection, and hope that rises even from the straw-covered floor of uncertain days.

Prayer:
Lord, meet me in the unstable places of my life. Give me courage to rest in Your presence, even when circumstances feel messy or unpredictable. Let Your peace take root in my heart today. Amen.

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Purpose in Pain

Worship Anyway

Your fortnightly 1-2-3: Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I want to worship, but I’m hurting. What if I don’t feel like worshipping? Is it dishonest to praise when I’m struggling?”

Talking Point 

Worship was never meant to depend on how we feel. It’s not a performance or a reward for good times. It’s a response to the unchanging truth of who God is—His holiness, His worthiness, His goodness—even when our circumstances seem to say otherwise.

That’s why Scripture calls it a sacrifice of praise. Because sometimes it costs us—when our hearts are heavy, when the healing hasn’t come, when the breakthrough feels far away.

The most powerful worship often rises not from celebration, but from surrender.

Acts 16 tells us about Paul and Silas. After being beaten and imprisoned for doing God’s will, they lifted their voices in prayer and praise. Not because they felt great. Not because they saw a way out. But because they knew who God is. That kind of worship—despite the pain—opened heaven’s response. The earth shook, the chains fell, and everyone around them witnessed freedom.

Worship shifts things. It may not always change what’s happening around us, but it can profoundly change what’s happening within us. Gratitude and praise lift our eyes from the weight of the moment to the One who holds it all.

Truth to Ponder 

We don’t worship because life is good - we worship because God is good.
When life hurts, here’s how to offer Him praise anyway:

• Acknowledge the pain.
  God doesn’t ask you to fake it—He can handle your honesty.

• Remember who He is.
  His worth doesn’t change with our situation.

• Choose the sacrifice.
  Worship costs something—but that’s what makes it meaningful.

• Let your praise lead your perspective.
  Magnifying God helps put everything else in context.

• Don’t wait to feel it.
  Feelings may follow, but faith often acts first.

Psalm 54:6 says:
“I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you; I will praise your name, Lord, for it is good.”

Worship isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing to honour God because He is worthy, not because life is easy. And in doing so, we often find that while He doesn’t always remove the pain, He transforms our perspective within it.

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Faith & Passion

Does your passion feel quiet? Don’t panic. This may be a holy pause, not a problem to fix.

Your fortnightly 1-2-3: Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I used to feel driven by passion and purpose, but lately... I just feel drained. Is there something wrong with me, or is this part of the journey?”

Talking Point 

Think of passion as a wild stallion, like the one in the header image. Passion will lend you his speed, jump you over obstacles, elevate your perspective and help you rally others around your cause. But like any stallion, Passion needs reins to ride it safely. Without reins, he will trample over flowers you’re meant to protect, race past landscape you’re supposed to enjoy and land you way off course before you even know it. Without reins (or without reign!) Passion will eventually drain you.

Yet, passion is a gift from God. It helps us move forward, gives us energy for our purpose, and fuels deep joy in serving. But it was never meant to be our master. Passion isn’t always about doing more. It’s not about galloping into every storm or pushing harder when your soul is tired. It’s about knowing what matters—and letting that truth lead.

Passion needs tending. Jesus lived with deep, unwavering passion. But even He retreated often to quiet places to pray, to rest, and to reconnect with the Father. Passion doesn’t thrive on pressure—it grows through presence.

If your passion feels dim right now, that doesn’t mean it’s gone. It may simply be resting, waiting, or healing. And that’s okay. Passion isn’t just for mountaintops—it’s for the valleys too. In fact, some of the deepest, most lasting callings are forged not in noise and fire, but in silence and surrender.

Truth to Ponder 

When your passion feels quiet, don’t panic. This may be a holy pause, not a problem to fix. Here's how to make peace with the season you're in:

• Name your need. Is it rest? Renewal? Clarity? God isn’t asking you to fake energy you don’t have. He meets you with kindness.

• Let go of pressure. Passion isn’t about performance—it’s about alignment. Let yourself breathe.

• Stay near the Source. Draw close to the One who kindled your passion in the first place. Sometimes the flame returns in a whisper.

• Pay attention to small sparks. A conversation, a scripture, a quiet stirring—God often rekindles the fire gently.

• Trust the process. Seasons of stillness can deepen the roots of your calling more than constant motion ever could.
   

Want to go a bit deeper on this subject?

Talk some time to reflect on this passage and consider what God might be trying to say to you:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.
Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

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Love your neighbour... as yourself

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I’m great at being there for everyone else—but when it comes to me, I feel drained, critical, or just…disconnected. Is it selfish to focus on myself?”

Talking Point 

We were created for connection—deep, meaningful relationships that enrich our lives and ground us in love. But there’s one relationship that often gets overlooked: the one you have with you.

Loving others well begins with learning to love yourself well. Not in a self-centred or egotistic way, but in the way you would treat someone you love—with kindness, patience, grace, and care. If you’re going to spend every minute of every day with someone… wouldn’t it be wise to make peace with them?

Being a good friend to yourself starts with:

• Knowing yourself – your likes, dislikes, values, and strengths. Personality tools like 16personalities.com can offer helpful insight.

• Speaking kindly to yourself – check your self-talk. Would you say that to someone you love?

• Enjoying your own company – pursue hobbies, explore joy, make time for what lights you up.

• Caring for yourself like you would a friend – rest, nourish, move, recover. You matter too.

This is not indulgence - it’s wisdom. Even Jesus said, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” That command assumes you know how to love you. When you constantly give without receiving - even from yourself - you run dry. But when you nurture a healthy inner life, you give from a place of fullness, not depletion.

Truth to Ponder 

The greatest gift you can give those around you is a healthy you. Ask yourself:

• Am I treating myself like someone I’m called to love?

• Would I want my children or friends to treat themselves the way I treat myself?

• Do I need to pause, replenish, and reconnect with who I really am?

At Mercy UK, we believe that wholeness flows from a strong relationship with God, with yourself, and with others. That’s why we created Keys to Freedom —a powerful discipleship resource designed to help you discover how to live in truth, freedom, and healthy connection.

Because when you flourish, everyone around you benefits too.

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Faith & Boundaries

Faith & Boundaries

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Written by Arianna Walker

Tension Point

“I often feel exhausted and stretched thin, giving away all my resources—time, love, energy or attention to others in need. But I feel like generosity is a good thing- is it unChristian to hold something back?”

Talking Point 

Near my house, there’s an apple tree heavy with the sweetest, juiciest apples imaginable. It stands behind a high wall, clearly marking what’s private and what’s public. Apples that grow beyond the wall onto the path are free to anyone who can pick them – and they do! But if someone climbed over that wall to take apples from the other side, though the same tree, it would be trespassing and theft.

That wall represents a boundary. It protects, defines ownership, and creates order. Our personal boundaries function exactly the same way: clearly marking what is ours—our time, affection, resources, and choices.

When we do not put boundaries around our resources they get depleted by others' demands, and we can end up exhausted, overwhelmed or empty. Jesus modeled healthy boundaries. He gave deeply but deliberately. He reserved special time for the twelve disciples and even closer relationships, creating clear separation from the crowd’s endless needs. He didn’t feel guilty when people walked away with unmet needs. He operated from clarity, obedience, and purpose—not from overwhelming demand.

Boundaries aren’t selfish; they're essential. They protect what is precious, enabling us to steward our resources wisely, intentionally, and joyfully.

Truth to Ponder 

You don’t have to give everything to everyone. Setting healthy boundaries actually multiplies your fruitfulness and effectiveness. Here’s how to begin:

• Clarify Your Fruit. Recognise what resources—time, energy, love, wisdom—you have available. Identify what you’re willing to freely share and with whom.  

• Build Your Wall. Clearly communicate your boundaries. Let people know what's available and what isn't. It’s kindness, not rejection, to make your limits known.

• Prioritise Purposefully. Follow Jesus’ example—invest deeply in relationships and activities that align with your calling and values.

• Say No Positively. Practice the power of a gracious, confident ‘no.’ Saying no isn’t a reflection of inadequacy but clarity of purpose.

• Enjoy the Fruit. Intentionally set aside time for replenishment and joy. Boundaries enable you to thrive, not just survive.
   

Boundaries help you give generously without losing yourself. When built intentionally, they free you to live wholeheartedly, faithfully stewarding every gift God has given.

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Faith & the Power of Pause

Faith & Glimmers

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"Life feels overwhelming right now—like I’m walking a tightrope, just trying to keep everything in balance. But I’ve noticed tiny moments that help me catch my breath... can those really make a difference?”

Talking Point 

I don’t know about you, but life can sometimes feel relentless—like an obstacle course of expectations, noise, and stress. And yet, I’ve been noticing something surprising lately: little moments that spark joy or bring unexpected calm. A slant of sunlight through the window. The feel of my dog’s head on my knee. A verse of Scripture that seems to be just for me.

Some psychologists now call these moments “glimmers”—the opposite of triggers. Where triggers disrupt, glimmers soothe. Rooted in Polyvagal Theory, they’re tiny cues that signal safety to the nervous system. They can shift us from stress into a state of calm and connection. 

And faith invites us into the same shift. The God who created our nervous systems also gifts us these moments as reminders: I am with you. You are safe. You are loved. They’re not just psychological flashes of calm; they’re spiritual nudges, drawing our hearts back to truth.

Truth to Ponder

You don’t have to wait for a big breakthrough to begin feeling better. Glimmers offer real hope—and they’re already in your day. Here’s how to start noticing:

• Name the glimmers. Keep a note in your phone or journal. What small things soothe you? A warm drink? A kind word? A certain worship song?

• Lean into them. When you notice one, pause. Breathe. Let it sink in. Let it minister to your nervous system—and your soul.

• Create space for them. Glimmers don’t always crash into our day. Sometimes we have to slow down enough to see them. Take walks, pause for prayer, watch the clouds. Simplicity is holy ground.

• Let faith frame them. Don’t just see them as happy coincidences. See them as signs—divine fingerprints of a God who is near.

• Share them. Glimmers grow stronger when shared. Text a friend the moment. Thank God aloud. Let it strengthen your community and your faith.

The more we notice glimmers, the more they grow. They tether us to hope, resilience, and joy. Like David in Psalm 23, who, in the midst of adversity, felt God leading him to quiet waters and green pastures to refresh his soul. 

So take heart. Keep looking. The glimmers are there—scientifically grounding, spiritually uplifting, and always available to those who seek them.

Faith & Fearing Change

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I’ve always struggled with change and the uncertainty it can bring. But I also know this fear is stopping me from stepping out into new things and plans that God might have for me.”

Talking Point

As I write this, the sun is pouring in through the window. I can smell the warmth in the air. The birds are chirping and I can see some gathering twigs for a nest. Spring is upon us! We are officially in transition. Moving from one season to the next. 

Which brings to mind life transitions: those periods of time where you are moving from one thing to the next. Are you in one right now? Maybe you are about to get married, or you find yourself suddenly alone. Maybe you are helping a child settle into university and navigating an empty nest or maybe you’ve just had a baby and are figuring out a whole new life stage on very little sleep! Maybe you’re buying your first house, or moving house, changing your career, or retiring from one. 

Transition is hard and for many of us (myself included) that change from one thing into the next is rarely cut and dried- usually it’s messy and chaotic. Transition can be exhausting, mentally and emotionally difficult to navigate, and it can make us feel out of control and anxious. We feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, afraid and unsure of ourselves. 

The temptation then, is to resist transition, try to ignore it, or rush through it as quickly as possible and try to regain a sense of control and order.

But nature teaches us that transition is a necessary part of the life cycle. Transition and change are beautiful in the same way that a tree moving from Summer to Autumn, with its mix of colours is beautiful. Nature teaches us that transition is vital for growth and for bearing fruit, it also teaches us that what may look like an ending, is in fact a new beginning.

Truth to Ponder 

If you’re finding yourself in a transitional life stage-a season of change right now, then here are some key things that can help you cope:

1. Embrace the change. Accept that change and transition are a normal part of life’s cycle. Make your peace with the fact that Change is here to stay.

2. Expect to feel uncomfortable. It’s not a sign that you’re not coping, it’s just discomfort. Learn to find comfort on an uncomfortable journey.

3. Set your sights on the outcome. What is on the other side of this transition? New opportunities? New relationships? More time, more purpose? 

4. Take care of yourself along the way. Don’t just get your head down and push through the season of discomfort. Look up every now and then, breathe, take in your surroundings. Learn to identify and express your feelings. 

5. Access your support system. Friends, church community, neighbours, family- don’t be afraid to ask for help. Communicate your need for company, someone to talk to or relax with, whilst you adjust to your new season. 

6. Get closure. One of the most effective ways of setting you up for what’s next is by deliberately letting go of what was. Feel the sad feelings that come with letting go, and allow yourself the luxury of goodbye.

7. Hold on to the One that is Unchanging. The bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is the beginning and the end and every season change that leaves us feeling unstable, insecure and without an anchor is best lived with Jesus at the centre of it.  

If you are struggling with a life transition, if you can’t seem to get a grip on yourself, then grip on to Jesus. Hold on to Him and He will be your anchor (Hebrews 6:19). He will help you take the next step, and then the next from whatever season you’re in that is ending, into the next season full of hope and possibility. 

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Self Reflection Blog

Click here to learn more about ourselves in the varying seasons of life

Faith & Disappointment

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I’ve just received news that is absolutely devastating. But when I talk to other Christians about it, I don’t feel comfortable talking about how disappointed I am."

Talking Point 

Let's start with a definition. Disappointment is“the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the defeat of one's hopes or expectations”. And my goodness, doesn’t life have a lot of potential for our hopes and expectations being dashed?! Jobs we don’t get, unwanted bills we do get. Friends and family that let us down and dreams that blow up.

So when disappointment comes knocking, and enters our world uninvited, what do we do? As Christians, are we in danger of being too quick to escape this unwanted feeling?

It might sound like an odd question. After all, no one wants to stay feeling disappointed for longer than necessary. Which is why we can be so quick to say things like: “this door has closed, but it’s ok, God will open another”, both to ourselves and to others. And while there is truth in that, are we risking something by trying to jump over disappointment rather than journeying through it?

In his book 'Management of Disappointment', author Abraham Zaleznik says that two things are required to deal with disappointment in a healthy way: 1) we need to be aware and understand our emotional reactions and 2) we need to face the disappointment directly. Are we doing this if we try and bypass our emotions and declare God's promises, no matter how true they are?

How do we face our disappointment head on and deal with it healthily and faithfully?

Truth to Ponder

Here are some really practical ways (four Gs!) to disable the power of disappointment:

Grieve
Let yourself be sad, process your disappointment in a way that’s helpful to you. Journal it, talk to someone you trust about it. Cry, be selfish and ungrateful and immature without justifying it or apologising for it or trying to tidy it up. Just let what you are disappointed about have its voice. Be it a day or a week, give yourself the time you need to feel it. But, put a timescale on it. Don’t let it linger. Rein it back in and then start bringing some direction to your feelings.

Gratitude
Deliberately bring to mind some things you are grateful for. Friends, family, loved ones, a job, breath in your body, a roof over your head, a sunny day. We all have things to be grateful for. Speak them out, thank God for them. Write a list and stick it on your fridge, on your kettle, in your downstairs toilet, wherever! 

Generosity
Be generous. Make your life about more than you. Give someone a smile for no reason, give to charity, sponsor a friend’s fundraising event, go through your wardrobe and give stuff away to a charity shop. Leave a kind comment on someone’s facebook post, give a compliment to a stranger. Give time to go and help your neighbour clear his garden or collect their wheelie bin. Just doing something, anything, to direct your attention away from yourself is good for you. Disappointment doesn’t thrive in the arena of generosity towards others.

God
If you know God, then make this number one. Start there. Start with pouring out your heart to Him. Let Him bring comfort where it hurts, speak hope where hope seems lost. Worship Him, lift your eyes from the unmet desires and hopes surrounding you to the eternal perspective of the One who holds you, has gone before you and knows the end from the beginning. Your disappointments will disperse like wisps of smoke in the presence of His love, His Goodness and His Mercy. And if you don’t know God, then start there. Get to know Him. Invite Him in. Disappointment doesn’t stand a chance in the presence of the very essence of Hope.

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Want to learn more about disappointment?

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Faith & Anger

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I try and suppress my anger, because it feels like such an un-Christian emotion. But I feel like I’m about to explode 😡"

Talking Point

Anger. It just feels like such an un-Christian emotion, doesn’t it?! One that we often categorise alongside other behaviours that we consider to be ‘sinful’, or not what God intended. But anger itself isn’t a sin—it’s a natural human emotion. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin.” That means feeling anger isn’t the problem; it’s what we do with it that matters.
 
When handled well, anger can actually help us recognise injustice, set healthy boundaries, and even motivate positive change. But if suppressed and not listened to anger can materialise in unexpected ways. When we don’t allow ourselves to express and process our anger, it can become internalised and cause a lot of damage beneath the surface. It can manifest as self-criticism, bitterness, resentment or self-hatred.
 
But we tend not to think about the internal consequences of suppressed anger. And maybe that is because, somewhere along the line, we’ve come to believe that suppressing it is actually the right thing to do. Anger as an emotion can be incredibly destructive if we let it take over, and many reading this will have been on the receiving end of unhealthy and unresolved anger.

So, how do we balance these things, and handle anger in a way that aligns with our faith?

Truth to Ponder 

It’s important that we are honest about our anger. Pay attention to why this emotion is surfacing for us – what are the underlying values, beliefs or circumstances we’ve held – because understanding what is behind the raw emotion is key to it being a healthy part of our emotional tool box.

Anger is a big issue that often has complex roots. But here are a few ways in which we can help find the right balance between being aware of our anger, but not letting it become destructive:
 
First, pausing before reacting is key. Count to ten, take a deep breath, or step away from the situation. Proverbs 29:11 says, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Giving yourself a moment to process your emotions can prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret. Physical activity—like taking a walk, exercising, or even writing down your thoughts—can also help release that built-up tension in a healthy way. This will help you to not just ‘feel’ the anger, but begin to understand the anger. To unpack the ‘why’ behind anger, you may find it helps you to speak to a counsellor, or study the ‘Keys to Freedom' workbook.
 
Prayer and reflection can play a huge role, too. Bringing your anger to God—whether through prayer, journaling, or simply sitting in silence—allows you to process it with His guidance. Psalm 10 is a great biblical example of how to do this.

Many find that praying for the person who hurt them (even when it’s the last thing they want to do) helps shift their perspective. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing bad behaviour, but it does free you from the burden of resentment. For some hurts though, this is an incredibly difficult thing to consider.
 
At the end of the day, anger is part of being human. So it's ok to feel anger, but it doesn’t have to control us. By recognising our triggers, responding with wisdom, and leaning into our faith, we can learn to express anger in a way that leads to healing rather than harm. Instead of seeing anger as something to be ashamed of, we can use it as an opportunity to grow, set boundaries, and seek God’s peace in the midst of it all.

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If you struggle with forgiving others, here’s a resource tht might help you.

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We guide you in your journey to find healing at the root causes.

Faith & Low Self Esteem

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I guess I believe that God loves me. In the way a parent loves a child, no matter what they do. But that doesn’t change how I feel about myself: a failure, a disappointment."

Talking Point

The chances are, if you have signed up to these emails, you believe that God loves us. It’s a message that is central to the Bible and everything Jesus said and did. But believing that and allowing it to increase our sense of self-esteem – how we view ourselves and our sense of worth – can be hard. Both our theology and life experience can complicate things:
 
Theologically we can believe that God loves us and struggle with low self-esteem. After all, it almost feels like a biblical view, right?! We can convince ourselves that our low self-esteem is actually just humility and low self-esteem can lead to whole-hearted appreciation that God loves us despite our failures. For those of us who struggle with a very low sense of self, this idea that God loves us 'despite ourselves' can confirm our worst fears: we ARE a failure and a disappointment, to those around us and to God.
 
And maintaining a healthy self-esteem in the messiness of life is hard! Our sense of self and worth is so easily impacted by circumstances and the people around us. This starts at a very early age in our development, whether through parents, community, peers, teachers, or whoever we engage with in the world. As social creatures we soak in the opinions, comments, nuances of body language and behaviours of other people- whether we realise it (consciously) or not (sub-consciously) and it all builds up a picture within us of who we really are.

There are two truths we need to grapple with here:

1. God thinks you are awesome. The bees’ knees. Beautiful, strong and priceless.

2. Our life experiences often lead us to find it really hard to believe that concept.

Truth to Ponder 

The Bible is full of verses that give us a glimpse into how God sees us, which we can declare over ourselves:

You ARE beautiful (Psalm 139:14), a delight (Psalm 147:11), indestructible (John 6:51) and valuable (Luke 12:24). In fact, we have prepared a list of 301 of these that can become your own personalised declarations. Just visit our Self-Esteem blog here and scroll right down to the bottom.
 
Can God’s word re-shape our thinking and sense of self? Absolutely! Can His Word tear down things we think about ourselves that aren’t true? 100% yes! But to allow those truths to heal and take precedent over our life experiences takes a journey.

It can take a lot to unpick how our life experiences and the opinions of others have shaped our own sense of self. God invites us into this journey, not by slapping us with His Word but by gently encouraging us to explore why we don’t believe it, to notice and to encounter Him as we encounter ourselves. Find out more below.

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Faith & Darkness

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I know I should be a beacon of ‘Hope’, but to be honest, the world just feels so bleak at the moment. I feel overwhelmed with the darkness in the world every time I read the news. And I don’t have the energy to summon up any positivity”

Talking Point 

It feels like we are living in especially dark times. Collectively and individually we seem to be facing threats from all sides. Climate change, cost-of-living, war, famine. Our planet is groaning and people are suffering. Some of these things can feel far away. Some of them are happening on our doorsteps and in our homes.

With world news at our fingertips, we are aware of the scale and level of suffering on a scale no other generation has had to navigate. Against such a bleak backdrop, it can be easy to feel lost and overwhelmed. The darkness can feel terrifying. 

And as Christians we can feel the pressure to radiate positivity, to be the ‘hope’ in a world that feels hopeless. But how on earth are we meant to summon up that kind of positivity when we feel so powerless to change the challenges in our own lives, let alone the problems in the world?!

Our hope comes from two things:
1. Understanding that light penetrates the darkness. Every time.
2. Understanding that our light source comes from a source beyond ourselves.

Truth to Ponder 

Light wins. Every time.
Have you ever stayed somewhere quite remote, away from the ever present glow of street lights and neon signs? When the sun fades, the darkness creates a sea of black, robbing everything of colour and texture. But then you look up! And the sheer quantity and brightness of the stars takes your breath away.

You see, no matter how dark it can get, the smallest of light can penetrate it. We often talk about the ‘battle between light and dark’. But it's an unfair contest. Light wins every time.

Another light source
‘That may be good and well,’ I hear you say, ‘but when I’m going through a dark time, summoning ‘light’ is so much easier said than done’. And you’d be right. In the face of some darknesses, trying to summon up positivity from within is just too impossible a task. Which is why we need to draw upon a different light source.

“In John 8 Jesus tells us “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” ”

Following Jesus means you have a light that shines in and through you – a light that cannot be stifled by dark times and difficult circumstances because it isn’t your light, it’s His.

So look up. As hard as it is, take your eyes off everything that is weighing you down, trying to scare you, confuse you, make you feel like you can’t see the way ahead. Look to the One who set the stars in the night sky, the One who is called the bright Morning Star, the eternal light bringing hope and healing.

Easier said than done?

We know this can be easier said than done. Believe us. We have journeyed with people travelling through unimaginable darkness and distress. So if it’s a truth you are struggling to grab hold of, reach out to someone who can help as this can be hard to do by yourself sometimes.

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Faith & The Weather

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I know God should be my source of strength and stability, but my sense of wellbeing feels as temperamental as Autumn weather!"

Talking Point

My family and I recently spent a glorious couple of weeks on the Norfolk coast. The weather did not disappoint: apart from one drizzly day, the majority of our time was spent on the beach, hunting for sea glass, eating chips and giving in all too easily to the constant requests for ice-cream. 

Now, I know true happiness is not found in something as fleeting as a sunny day and yet, with that warm glow on my face, the gentle breeze and the sound of kids having fun with the simple pleasures in life, I must admit to feeling… well… happy.

But those memories are fading faster than the leaves can fall from the trees. Gentle breezes are replaced with bitter autumnal winds; simple pleasures have given way to the busyness of life. It’s easy to find ourselves reminiscing about the sunshine, and those simpler days where joy seemed so much easier to grasp hold off.

It’s at times like this where we realise how easy – but unstable – it is to build an internal sense of happiness on external factors.

A good job, a significant other, a sunny day.  Whilst these factors are all indeed ‘happiness’ inducing, they can never become the basis on which we build our lives. They are all changeable, like the weather.

We have to come to a place in ourselves, where our internal weather system is set, not by what is happening (and ever-changing) on the outside but by what we have cultivated on the inside.  We must find an anchor for our soul - a sense of security, identity and purpose that has its foundations firmly rooted in an unchangeable truth.

Truth to Ponder

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

— Philippians 4:12-13

The ‘him’ Paul refers to is Jesus. He is the constant, He is the Son and so He shines whatever the weather of your life. This doesn’t mean that when it rains in life, we have some magic ability to stay dry and not be affected. No – what it means is He gives us His umbrella and so whilst we may be facing the same conditions as everyone around us, our internal weather system is set on Him and our warmth comes from the inside out. We stay dry when we make use of what God has made available for us to use in the event of a storm; peace that isn’t dependant on circumstances, joy that becomes our strength, love that casts out all fear…

Life is unpredictable, people are fallible, things are breakable. But in Him and with Him you can find that a sunny disposition comes from a deep internal sense of being chosen, loved and living on this earth with a purpose to fulfil.

No matter what the weather is doing- you always take that truth with you so it becomes your steadfast anchor in a life that is as changeable as the weather.

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Read more about Faith & Anxiety

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Faith & Tough Feelings

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"When I feel depressed, angry or sad, God feels distant. I would be so much closer to God if my feelings didn’t get in the way."

Talking Point

As followers of Jesus, when we feel low, depressed, or despondent, we don’t exactly believe we are at the top of our faith game do we?! The more we experience those tough feelings, the more distance creeps in between us and God.  It can sometimes seem like we would be better Christians if we just remained joyful always (whilst ignoring feelings on the inside). 

It’s helpful to recognise that feelings haven’t always had a good reputation in the Christian faith. The things people might say (e.g. "Don't be upset, God will work all things out for good!") can come from good intentions, recognising that feelings won’t always lead us to truth. But it can give us the impression that God and feelings don't really mix. 

Aside from that, there are so many reasons why feelings such as anger or sadness (to name a couple), are often unwelcome visitors. Our human experiences can shape how we view God. For example, if we weren’t allowed to show those emotions when we were young, if we were told off for them, or even punished for them, it will likely translate that God isn’t a fan of those emotions either, or of us when we feel them. 

Truth to Ponder

But what if faith and feelings were created by God to co-exist? The human and the holy? God himself consistently endorses and displays emotions – the whole spectrum of them. 

What if in those moments where God seems so far away, we were able to cling on to the truth that God is with us and that He is not angry, ashamed or disappointed in us for having those human emotions? What if, instead, He is actually most present, most kind, most willing for you to share those tough feelings with him, as he gently holds them like precious jewels in his hands.

The Bible tells us that ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit’ (Psalm 34:18)

Could we possibly allow ourselves to imagine or believe that in those tough moments, our God might be sitting directly in front of us, with empathy written on his face and hands outstretched to offer comfort and reassurance that he is not going anywhere and that we are loved through it all.

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Faith & Authenticity

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I want to live an authentic life – free to be me – but I often think I have to put on a brave face. I don’t see it as faking it necessarily, but showing people how good God is and being positive.  I might be hurting or angry inside, but I want to push through and be faithful. "

Talking Point

It's so easy to build up an idea of a ‘good Christian’, especially when others rely on us. We are committed to sharing our faith with others by living a life that leads by example; one of faith, showing who God is. But let's be honest, for some of us that can feel like it comes with a heavy weight of expectation. 

Do we really feel able to show our weaknesses, struggles and failures as well as our answered prayers and hilltop moments – because surely those moments are the epitome of knowing Christ?

But what if those times of authenticity and realness are actually what God desires most for us – both for us to live freely and for us to be able to relate to him totally honestly?

Truth to Ponder

When we’re busy being who we think God wants us to be, we forget what Jesus values the most – for us to be like little children (Matt 18:3). The beauty of children is that they rarely have a filter. My youngest daughter is very comfortable asking Jesus questions about his preference of pet, whether he was ever bald (that one gets asked a lot), or if he plays the ukulele. 

A glimpse of the Psalms can be mind blowing when we realise what David was actually comfortable saying to God (examples taken from The Message version):

• “I'm feeling terrible. I couldn’t feel worse”

• "Punch those bullies in the nose!”

• “You've ignored me for long enough”

• “You walked off and left us – how could you do that?”

• “God treat me nice for a change”

• “Because of you I look like an idiot”

• “You won't embarrass me will you?”

Maybe it’s time to become aware of beliefs you may have about what a ‘good disciple’ looks like and bring them honestly to God, expectant that he is very comfortable with our questions and doubts, and loves to help us wrestle through them. 

David also shares in the Psalms why he is so open with God:

“God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes”

— Psalm 18:24

What might it feel like to be totally yourself, alongside the knowledge that there’s nothing you can do to make you more pleasing and wonderful to him? That the living God dwells in you, desiring to continue the process of sanctifying you himself and therefore you can not fail?

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Faith & Burnout

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I’m burnt out, but I’m a church leader and feel like I’m meant to be the strong one. I know I should reach out, I just really don’t want to be a burden.”

Talking Point

There are so many reasons we don’t reach out for help, but one of the most recurring things we hear is “I don’t want to be a burden”. Often this reason is coupled with another inner narrative: we believe we are meant to be the strong one. The person other people rely on. The carrier of burdens, not the giver of them.

This is a noble notion, but here is the harsh truth: it’s misguided, misinformed and (I hope this doesn’t sound too dramatic) dangerous. It is a short-cut to burnout and breakdown.

Put your own oxygen mask on first.

When was the last time you were on a plane?! Before every flight, you will hear this very important piece of safety advice: put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else. Doesn’t sound particularly heroic, does it?! Surely we are meant to jump to the aid of those struggling, whatever the cost?!

But it’s the opposite. The BEST chance you have of helping those around you and ‘not being a burden’ is to make sure your own mask is attached. Without it, you are no help to anyone.

Not taking care of yourself, can mean you begin to experience burnout, stress, fatigue, reduced mental effectiveness, health problems, anxiety, frustration, inability to sleep, and compassion fatigue.  

Are you experiencing some of those symptoms today?

Truth to Ponder

Is it time to put on your own oxygen mask? If you're holding out on seeking support because you are worried about being a burden, you need to take a few moments to think about this: those people you are trying to protect DESERVE to have you at your best! 

Even Jesus needed to practice self-care.

In Mark 6:31 Jesus and the disciples are exhausted, so he suggests they take themselves off to a quiet place to get some rest.

Why? Because we can’t give what we don’t have. So making sure we are stocked up emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually for the demands of the people and circumstances around matters.

Top Tips
Here are a few ways you can take care of yourself today:

1. Stop feeling guilty that you’re taking the time you need to take care of yourself.

2. Stop making yourself so available all the time and learn when to put your phone away, set boundaries.

3. Carve out time to do the things you want to do, not just the things you should, could, must, ought to do.

4. Be deliberate in fuelling your body with healthy food.

5. Exercise more. Your body needs to be fit for purpose and the endorphins will make you feel better.

6. Learn to process. Journal, sing or chat things through with someone you trust.

7. Pray. Connect with God, the source of strength, hope, joy, peace and energy that is never ending, always available and divinely effective. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus urges us to 'learn from me, my yoke is easy and burden is light.'

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Faith & When Forgiveness Feels Unfair.

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point
"I get that we should forgive, but it just feels unfair. What happened was wrong and they just don’t deserve my forgiveness. Besides, am I just supposed to forget it all ever happened?”

Talking Point 

Let's be honest, forgiveness is hard. It is so fraught with complexities and requires us to face our hurt and pain head on. And this is precisely why choosing to forgive can feel so unfair. The hurt and pain is our proof that what happened felt wrong. 
 
Often the thought in the back of our mind is ‘Forgive? Why should I?’ Yet we also seem to recognise, deep down, that it's the right thing to do. After all forgiveness is mentioned 40 times in the New Testament alone. And it really is good for you: studies have shown that practicing forgiveness decreases anger, anxiety, and depression and increases self-esteem and hopefulness for the future.
 
The tension points in forgiveness are often related to myths – misconceptions in our beliefs or understanding of forgiveness. Although acknowledging these and reading the biblical truths won’t necessarily make the path a smooth one, it can help us journey towards choosing to forgive.

MYTH: To forgive means to forget

The premise of this myth is that forgiveness means that we simply pretend or deny that something ever happened, but this is not the case. To forgive means to go through a process of fully acknowledging the impact of what happened. Part of this process is inviting Father God/Jesus/Holy Spirit to share His perspective and how He desires to heal you and exchange the current thoughts and feelings with His own Truths and promises – these are the things that can be remembered instead.

MYTH: I can only forgive if the offender deserves forgiveness or apologises.

This myth assumes that forgiveness is something that needs to be earned. This is not true. It may validate our pain to hear someone say sorry or work hard to earn back trust, but this should never be a condition for your forgiveness – this positions ourselves as the judge. Releasing forgiveness, whether the offender deserves it or not, positions God as the judge over the offender and the healer of our hurt.

MYTH: I will be ready to forgive when I feel the hurt has passed.

The premise of this myth assumes that forgiveness itself is a feeling. After all, it’s not uncommon to hear the phrase ‘to be in a forgiving mood'. But forgiveness is not a feeling, it is an action. Because of this we can release forgiveness, despite how we feel, as an act of our own will in a determined effort to pursue our own healing. It won’t always feel fair and it won’t feel easy – but it is right and it is good.

Truth to Ponder 

Choosing to forgive is one of the most powerful keys to unlocking healing because it not only unlocks us from any beliefs that formed as a result of our hurt, but it is also a key to deepening our relationship with God from whom we can receive lasting healing from the hurt.

““And whenever you stand praying, if you find that you carry something in your heart against another person, release him and forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also release you and forgive you of your faults.””

— (Mark 11:25, TPT)

Here is a question you could ask:

“Father God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, will you show me how any of these myths have hindered my forgiveness?”

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Faith & Trusting God (when I have trust issues)

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point 

“I’m so tired of the Christian response to just ‘trust’ God. It’s not that easy! I don’t know how to trust – for me, trust has always led to feeling disappointed, or worse.”

Talking Point

Think about all the other relationships in your life. How many people do you trust implicitly? And what have you been through to get to that level of trust? When you think about it like that, choosing to trust God, a God that we can’t necessarily see or touch or have coffee with, can feel like a dangerous tightrope at times. Yes, we know He is good but trusting God can’t just be something we say. Trust always means putting skin in the game.
 
When we ask ‘Can I trust God?’ we are actually asking two questions. First: Is God trustworthy? Of course, as Christians, we know He is—this is an absolute Truth. But the second question is where it gets personal: Can I can trust God? As in, do I have what it takes to believe this absolute Truth?

Acknowledging what we bring to the relationship

In all of our other relationships, trust requires something from us. So why do we treat our relationship with God any differently? We can sometimes expect intimacy to come from religious devotion… as if just acknowledging that He is God is enough for us to throw ourselves into trusting Him as if we have never been hurt or let down before. But just like any other relationship, we still bring our relational baggage, our trust issues, our defence mechanisms and our fears of intimacy to it.
 
Think about the 'Trust Fall' exercise: that awkward exercise where one person falls blindly into the arms of another, relying on the integrity, strength and ability of that person to catch them. Even if you know the person waiting behind you, it can feel uncomfortable. This discomfort is a reflection of the internal vows and misconceptions about trust and the risk of getting hurt, looking stupid, being judged, or being betrayed.

The sad reality is that even if we are entirely safe with the person ready to catch us, these internal vows and misconceptions can make us feel like we are being sprung back, like being tied to an elastic cord, to those times we trusted someone and were let down, made to look foolish, misrepresented, abandoned, (insert your experience here!)

So, we hold something back to protect ourselves: a ‘prudent mistrust’, just in case. But this limits us. 

Truth to Ponder 

Getting to know God is the foundation of trusting Him. The simple truth is that without getting to know Him, our ability to trust Him is limited. But we also need to get to know ourselves so that we can identify the cords that hold us back from trusting God more freely.

Ready to go on that journey?! It can be hard, but trust us (pun intended), it's worth it...

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Faith & The Voice (of God) in My Head (or not)

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I'm not sure I have ever heard the voice of God in the way others seem to. I cry out in prayer and wait… but He feels so silent"

Talking Point

Have you ever cried out in prayer and waited, desperately, for that ‘voice of God’ that other Christians seem to talk about? We strain our ears hoping to hear words that will bring us peace, reassurance, direction, comfort, answers… And when we are met with silence, we can feel let down, abandoned and disillusioned.

But, does ‘hearing’ actually mean ‘hearing’?

Think about it, when you recall a number such as a phone number, how do you do it? Do you ‘hear’ the number in your head or the corresponding sound of the beeps? Or, instead, do you see the numbers, recall how you wrote them down, or remember the pattern your fingers make as you enter them?

We all receive, recall and process information differently…

Which means we learn and understand according to these different styles. The danger and resulting tension of only talking about ‘hearing’ God can be that we limit the way we might connect with Him. It’s the equivalent of only ever communicating by talking - imagine no written word; no sign language; no poetry; no art; no music; no dance.

Recognising how God might connect with us through our natural senses, is a good start in sharpening our sensitivity to Him and strengthening our confidence in receiving from Him. We can all grow in the gift of seeing, hearing and feeling God’s presence through practice, in the same way that spending time with someone makes it easier to recognise them in ways that are unique to your relationship with them.

Truth to Ponder 

The Truth is that God is everywhere, communicating to us through our senses, through His Word, through creation. These are the ways in which we may receive from God through our senses:

We May See Him
We may recognise Him speaking to us through our imagination, through visions and dreams or through supernatural encounters with Him, as if with our natural eyes. The Word of God documents many times where God engages with us this way.
(Acts 2:17) 

We May Hear Him
We may recognise Him speaking to us through a song, through sound or through a spirit to spirit conversation with Him, or we may even hear the audible sound of His Voice. 
(John 10:27)

We may FEEL Him
We may sense a shift in the atmosphere, or even in our own body, as a feeling of peace or warmth. We may also feel Him through a strong sense of conviction or a sense of ‘knowing’ which again, brings peace and directs our steps.
(Thessalonians 3:5)

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