Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.
Written by Arianna Walker
Tension Point
“I often feel exhausted and stretched thin, giving away all my resources—time, love, energy or attention to others in need. But I feel like generosity is a good thing- is it unChristian to hold something back?”
Talking Point
Near my house, there’s an apple tree heavy with the sweetest, juiciest apples imaginable. It stands behind a high wall, clearly marking what’s private and what’s public. Apples that grow beyond the wall onto the path are free to anyone who can pick them – and they do! But if someone climbed over that wall to take apples from the other side, though the same tree, it would be trespassing and theft.
That wall represents a boundary. It protects, defines ownership, and creates order. Our personal boundaries function exactly the same way: clearly marking what is ours—our time, affection, resources, and choices.
When we do not put boundaries around our resources they get depleted by others' demands, and we can end up exhausted, overwhelmed or empty. Jesus modeled healthy boundaries. He gave deeply but deliberately. He reserved special time for the twelve disciples and even closer relationships, creating clear separation from the crowd’s endless needs. He didn’t feel guilty when people walked away with unmet needs. He operated from clarity, obedience, and purpose—not from overwhelming demand.
Boundaries aren’t selfish; they're essential. They protect what is precious, enabling us to steward our resources wisely, intentionally, and joyfully.
Truth to Ponder
You don’t have to give everything to everyone. Setting healthy boundaries actually multiplies your fruitfulness and effectiveness. Here’s how to begin:
Clarify Your Fruit. Recognise what resources—time, energy, love, wisdom—you have available. Identify what you’re willing to freely share and with whom.
Build Your Wall. Clearly communicate your boundaries. Let people know what's available and what isn't. It’s kindness, not rejection, to make your limits known.
Prioritise Purposefully. Follow Jesus’ example—invest deeply in relationships and activities that align with your calling and values.
Say No Positively. Practice the power of a gracious, confident ‘no.’ Saying no isn’t a reflection of inadequacy but clarity of purpose.
Enjoy the Fruit. Intentionally set aside time for replenishment and joy. Boundaries enable you to thrive, not just survive.
Boundaries help you give generously without losing yourself. When built intentionally, they free you to live wholeheartedly, faithfully stewarding every gift God has given.
CHECK OUT:
Faith & the Power of Pause